Smeg

When I was about ten years old, my brother taught me how to fix a wardrobe door. The procedure involved swearing at the wardrobe. Then there was swearing at the screwdriver. Then there was swearing at anything else that came to hand. Perhaps he was swearing at life itself. He was a sailor so he was used to a working environment where swearing was hardly noticed.

As a pupil I knew two things. One was that teachers did not swear and the other was that the staff room was out of bounds: even to open the door was taboo.

As a teacher I was to realise these two things were linked. Teachers did not swear in the classroom. Pupils did, a lot of parents did but let a teacher say 'damn' and they would be damned.

Inside the staffroom, I learnt some of the most vehement and imaginative swearing I had ever come across. This was led by the PE staff but they were not alone.

Other people have dealt with the issue of swearing by inventing terms of their own. “Blessed” is often used as a euphemism. Grant and Naylor came up with the word “smeg” to get round the BBC's sensitive ears. The Sci Fi writer Larry Niven came up with “tanj” which is short for “There ain't no justice.”

So swearing is quite an issue. Knowing a lot of adjectives and adverbs is one cure. I once suggested to a pupil that he might improve the following piece of writing by varying the adjectives:

“It was a nice day so I thought it would be nice to go for a nice walk. I went to the park. It was nice.”

What he came up with was, “It was a bloody awful day so I thought it would be bloody awful...etc.”

Apparently Dad said it all the time.

I believe teachers can learn to set a good example and use language in a creative way which makes the meaning clear without resorting to swearing. Then go into the staffroom and relieve your feelings in any way you deem appropriate!

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https://www.amazon.co.uk/Derek-McMillan/e/B009FUXHWY