11298 downloads of my worksheets from the TES

They refer to me as "h" because I gave my name as H Elpline2.

That is a lot of downloads.

Rebus2

 Sid Vish without the gnu and us = SidVicious

Last Tango in Paris

The ten ant of Wilde fell Hall = The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

Rwanda is not the Congo you know

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/question-time-audience-stunned-as-minister-chris-philp-asks-rwanda-is-a-different-country-to-congo-isn-t-it/ar-AA1nG8Ck

Policing minister Chris Philp appeared to confuse the countries of Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo on Question Time.

An easy mistake to make. They are both foreign countries forsooth.

One word description of OFSTED

The government has kept its policy of "one word assessments" of schools by OFSTED. The somewhat insulting premise is that parents cannot understand more than one word.

As for OFSTED, I think it is a toss-up between ‘ignorant’ and ‘bullying’. 

And the government? ‘Inadequate’ would do. 

222 players on Puzzgrid

I presented this grid to my family on Thursday and then put it on Puzzgrid. As you can see 222 people have played it. Cor Blimey

Not Nice

"It was a nice day so I thought it would be nice to go for a nice walk. I went to the park where a lot of nice people were walking their dogs. It was nice."

You can believe me or not, just as you choose. This is from a piece of writing a pupil handed in to me. I have used it since as an exercise in finding alternatives to the word "nice",

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Classroom-Teacher-Manual-advice-teachers/dp/1973773074

Gratitude

One way to master the complexities of logarithms is to sit in the back row of the class and make farting noises.

This was the strategy of a child who I found was called Jack Carter.

"Are you sending Carter to the sin bin,  sir?" 

From the air of anticipation in the class I guessed that Carter usually made a fuss about this.

Instead of sending him out, I focussed on explaining the lesson to him. The others were listening.

When the bell went, he said, "I quite like the sin bin actually."

I was overwhelmed by his gratitude.

58 Farm End

This is a first-class murder story. The characters are well-drawn and interesting and their relationships drive the plot.

As for the murder there are a number of red herrings and I was certainly surprised when the actual murderer was revealed. It keeps the reader guessing and speculating all the way through as suspicion switches from one character to another..

The details of life on a farm provide a backdrop to the story and it is set in the vicinity of Worthing which is an added attraction for those of us who live there.

I bought the paperback in Natty Noos in Horsham. There are also Kindle and Audible versions.

Intolerable

Sunak said the action of the Israeli Defence Force was "intolerable".
Was it intolerable enough to prevent the sale of arms to Israel?
Of course not!

As of 20 March, at least 196 humanitarians have been killed in the Occupied Palestinian Territories since October 2023, according to figures compiled by the Aid Worker Security Database (AWDS) – the aid community’s main source for tracking attacks on aid workers. Data for 2023 and 2024 is not yet finalised, and the numbers are likely to rise, researchers say.

It is apparently impossible for Israel to feed Palestinian children who are starving but it is possible to bomb them.

The Israeli Defence Force is engaged in crimes against humanity. So are the Israeli media. For them the genocide in Gaza simply does not exist.

The Legend of Loof Lirpa

In 1793 the health ministry of Norway was tasked with measuring the feet of all the citizens. The runaway winner of the contest was a little-known man called Loof Lirpa.

His picture, alongside a picture of his feet with a normal-sized pair of feet for comparison, appeared in the newspapers of the day, there were two. The King awarded Loof a thousand Kroner which could be expected to keep him in comfort for the rest of his days.

In those days there were no shoe sizes so Loof had to have his shoes specially made. Fortunately his father came from a long line of cobblers.

Loof decided to set out exploring. The first country he discovered was Denmark. Norwegians had heard of Denmark but hitherto they had thought of it as a mythic land inhabited by giants. Danes are similar in size to Norwegians and in fact Loof, with his prodigious feet, was regarded as a giant by them. He was introduced to the King who told him of another land which the Danes greatly feared. In modern times it is known as Sweden.

Loof walked to Sweden where he found that the land of Abba was in fact a rather peaceful place. In fact he married and raised twelve children in Sweden. There was a mistranslation of his writings about Sweden which were published posthumously forty years later. From this people in Norway got the impression that far from being a pacific nation, Sweden was in fact in the Pacific.

He was mourned in Sweden, Denmark and eventually in his native Norway.

Note – as this is written in English, I have followed the tradition of spelling Loof Lirpa's name backwards.

Punished for an opinion

An Israeli teacher was fired from his job, arrested, and placed in solitary confinement for criticising the actions of Israel’s military.

Meir Baruchin’s only “crime” was a Facebook post he made the day after Hamas’s attack on Israel that said: “Horrific images are pouring in from Gaza. Entire families were wiped out … Anyone who thinks this is justified because of what happened yesterday should unfriend themselves. I ask everyone else to do everything possible to stop this madness. Stop it now. Not later, Now!!!”

The Minister Answers the Question

"Now look. We have spent unprecedented sums and lessons have been learnt."

"What are you talking about minister?"

"That is not the point. Going forward we expect to see a massive improvement up and down the country."

"An improvement in?"

"There is an ongoing inquiry and it would be inappropriate for me to comment."

"Will you answer the question, minister?"

"We expect to see spectacular developments but you have to remember we have had Covid and the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The opposition has no policy."

"That is all we have time for. Thank you very much, Minister."

"My pleasure."

My favourite line from "If" by Rudyard Kipling.

Kipling was backward-looking and Imperialist but still managed to write some well-loved stories and the most popular poem in the English language.

And then there were None

This was a very "professional" amateur production by the Ferring Amateur Dramatic Society.

"Ten little Soldier Boys went out to dine; One choked his little self and then there were nine."

The unfolding story weaves together the poem about the ten little Soldier Boys and the guilty secrets of the ten guests.

Without revealing any spoilers, this is a very well-constructed enactment of a classic Agatha Christie story.

It would be invidious to single out any of the actors because they work together as  a team. The result is a splendid evening out.

There is even wine!

• 
  

A safe place

The Conservatives can no longer call themselves the party of law and order.

The Rwanda Bill places party politics above the law.

Calling Rwanda a safe country is contrary to all the human rights surveys. Safe if you like being tortured! 

https://www.hrw.org/news/2017/10/10/rwanda-unlawful-military-detention-torture

https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2023/country-chapters/rwanda

Two reports from Human Rights Watch. A safe place? 

 Safe eh? How many MPs would like that?

he Tories do not like torture. They would rather subcontract it to the Rwanda government which has plenty of practice.

 

A Question for Starmer

Do you think your efforts to combat anti-semitism are helped or hindered by the slaughter of children by the Israeli Defence Force? Discuss. #starmer #labour #gaza #genocide

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General Election Challenge

Convention Gathers In Birmingham To Discuss United General Election Challenge
 

Representatives of twelve different campaign groups and socialist organisations are meeting this weekend (on Saturday 3rd) in a Convention to Organise a Working Class Challenge at the General Election. 

An agenda document has now been released by the Convention Arrangements Committee, which is available at https://www.tusc.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Convention-Agenda-document.pdf.

The Convention will start with an opening session which has been given the title, ‘Do we want a common election challenge? And is it possible?’. 

Participating in this discussion will be the Convention co-hosting organisations – the Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition (TUSC), the Socialist Party, System Change (formerly Resist), the Campaign for a Mass Workers Party, the TUSC Independent Socialists, and Socialist Students – alongside the newly-formed Transform Party, the Social Justice Party, the Workers Party of Britain, and the Organising Corbyn Inspired Socialist Alliance (OCISA) campaign group who are promoting a single independent left candidacy for Sir Keir Starmer’s Holborn & St Pancras constituency seat.

One of the issues to be resolved in this session will be whether the participants believe that a joint election challenge should attempt to contest enough seats at the general election – at least 98 candidates – to reach the broadcasting authorities ‘fair media coverage’ qualifying threshold. 

This is sometimes misleadingly referred to only as a benchmark to qualify for a party election broadcast.  But while it does indeed guarantee an election broadcast – which is obviously not unimportant – it is more than that in providing a lever to achieve the biggest possible access for a socialist working class alternative message across all the establishment media outlets. 

Still time to register!

That is why, while it is welcome that twelve organisations are coming together in Birmingham to discuss what can be done, the Convention Arrangements Committee has also expressed its disappointment that not every socialist group considering standing candidates in the general election has so far taken up the invitation to attend.

Last November, for example, the Communist Party of Britain, a leading influence on the Morning Star newspaper, agreed at its biennial Congress “to contest as many constituencies in the forthcoming general election as resources reasonably allow in order to raise the red flag for public ownership, a wealth tax” etc, although it would not be able to reach the ‘fair media coverage’ threshold on its own.  So why not then collaborate with other socialists to most effectively ‘raise the red flag’, while preserving its own independent identity and profile?

The same point applies to the Socialist Workers Party (SWP), which rightly recognised at its annual conference in January that “an important section of the working class to whom we seek to relate will not vote Labour”, and that the “emergence of left alternatives to Labour is more important”.  Nevertheless, it went on, “none of the likely electoral challenges to the left of Labour are likely to ask the SWP to join as an independent revolutionary formation.  We could not consider membership on any other basis”. 

But that is precisely one of the proposals being discussed at the Convention – Proposition Five in the Convention agenda document – that “individual candidates and organisations participating in the joint election challenge shall retain at all times responsibility for their own campaigns, including the right to promote their own organisation and policies that go beyond the core platform”. 

If the SWP, or the Communist Party, feel that this is still too restrictive why not come to the Convention and explain what other guarantees they would need?  There’s still time!

The Convention is being held on Saturday and registration remains open – which can be done by completing the form at https://www.tusc.org.uk/convention_registration_form/

In-person attendance is open to any socialist organisation or campaign group that is considering supporting or standing candidates in the general election (who can appoint up to ten delegates); elected trade union officers or reps (attending in a personal capacity); resigned-from-Labour or independent socialist councillors; and individual members of the Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition (TUSC) who are not members of one of the TUSC component organisations or organisations otherwise represented at the Convention.  The time has come to take decisions!

Zoom attendance is also available for visitors, who are asked to pay the same registration fee (£5 waged or £2 unwaged or low-waged) as in-person attendees to help meet the costs of the event.

Solidarity,
The TUSC Team

The Evil Quizmaster

Song Lyrics 1

1) You think you've lost your love, well I saw her yesterday

a) she's still mad at you

b) she said 'hi'

c) It's you she's thinking of.

2) Gloria

a) in Excelsis

b) give me your answer do

c) pride of our alley

3) Daisy

a) in Excelsis

b) give me your answer do

c) pride of our alley

4) Sally

a) in Excelsis

b) give me your answer do

c) pride of our alley

5) Hello darkness my old friend

a) How are you?

b) I've come to talk with you again

c) long time no see

6) You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy

a) when the gas bill comes

b) when skies are grey

c) when skies are blue

7) Who were "Tryin' to catch the Devil's herd, across these endless skies"

a) ghostriders in the sky

b) the police

c) clouds

8) Who was asked to come into the garden

a) Alan

b) Maud

c) Reginald

9) Ain't no mountain high enough ain't no valley

a) wide enough

b) low enough

c) long enough

10) Pack up your troubles in what?

a) a suitcase

b) a cupboard

c) your old kit bag

11) What are we going to build in England's green and pleasant land?

a) a skyscraper

b) a castle

c) Jerusalem

12) And you told her you'd never kissed a girl before so what must you do?

a) hold your hand out naughty boy

b) behave yourself

c) stop it at once

13) What is the password for "Hernando's Hideaway"?

a) open sesame

b) Casablanca

c) you and I were sent by Joe

14) Why was the little white bull unhappy?

a) his mother was cross with him

b) only black bulls go to the bullring

c) he had a tummy ache

15) What happens to mother brown if they catch her bending?

a) they get annoyed

b) the say she's cheating

c) they'll saw her legs right off

16) By yon bonnie banks & by yon bonnie braes, refers to

a) Loch Ness

b) Loch Lomond

c) Ullswater

17) Where do the deer and the antelope play?

a) home on the range

b) home in the Gorbals

c) home with the old folks

18) Bonnie and Clyde were pretty lookin' people but whose children?

a) different parents

b) the devil

c) unknown parents

19) The grand old duke of York

a) had ten thousand acres

b) had ten thousand pounds

c) had ten thousand men

20) How many men on a dead man's chest

a) one

b) fifteen

c) two

Have a go at the questions before looking at the answers!

Ans 1) c 2) a 3) b 4) c 5) b

6) b 7) a 8) b 9) b 10) c

11) c 12) a 13) c 14) b 15) c

16) b 17) a 18) b 19) c 20) b

Everyday Fiction

New story in Everyday Fiction

Comments on "A Boxing Day to Remember" :

From Paul A Freeman:

What a bizarre, eighty-miles-per-hour murder mystery. Could be a 'Knives Out' sequel.

Thanks for the read, Derek.

From my nephew David X:

Short, sweet and to the point (pun intended) 😊

My Neice Tracy, 

Was a bit worried about which niece was going to be named! 😝

Another Neice George:

I thought it was 'Auntie ' Gladys? Not niece? The one that didn't like jelly? How about that for a plot for your next story?

FYI "Auntie Gladys" was not anyone's aunt, but a friend of the family. She was tickled pink when the Dave Clark Five released a song with the chorus "I'm feelin' glad all over".

Pantomime racist

James Cleverly has been informed that the government has failed to stop the boats. His only response was ‘Oh yes we have’. Is it pantomime season? #stoptheboats

It is a misguided racist piece of nonsense. A clear signal to racists that if you hate migrants you should vote for the class enemy.

James Cleverly also famously made jokes about Rohypnol. What a caution!