Britishness, Britishness.

In the wake of the fiasco in Birmingham which led to a very public "I am more anti-terrorist than you" spat between May and Gove, Gove has hit back with a proposal that all teachers will be assessed on their Britishness. Here is an example of the BNP demonstrating their Britishness for Mr Gove to ponder.

Mr "I'm not a racist" Gove has defined British values as "tolerance and fair play." Oddly there was a little massacre at Amritsar which perfectly exemplifies these values as Mr Gove will be aware. In this event, Brigadier-General Reginald Dyer demonstrated his tolerance and fair play by ordering the army to fire  on an unarmed crowd. This went on for for ten tolerant minutes. They directed their bullets largely towards the few open gates through which people were trying to run out - that is an example of fair play, you see. The dead numbered between 370 and 1,000, or possibly more. 

The people of Iraq have received a fair dose of the tolerance and fair play and they have probably had enough of it by now.

The Tolpuddle Martyrs were British. The magistrates who condemned them were also British. The victims of the Peterloo massacre were British. So were the magistrates who ordered the troops to open fire on unarmed civilians. As abstract concepts go, "Britishness" could be a little difficult to teach.

And one final thing, OFSTED have complained about a culture of bullying in Birmingham. So if you thought it was British to understand irony - apparently not so. Teach tolerance and fair play or we will have you sacked!

Try before you buy