The millionaires have plenty. Why pick on the pensioners?

The National Pensioners’ Convention is calling on Chancellor Rachel Reeves to reconsider her shock decision to end ‘universal’ winter fuel payments.

The move will hit millions of older people who are just above the income threshold to qualify for pension credit - effectively imposing a harsh means test on those already struggling next winter.

NPC General Secretary Jan Shortt said: “This is devastating news for millions of older people whose income is literally just a few pounds above the threshold to receive pension credit. 

“These people are already barely able to make ends meet – this move effectively wipes out any benefit they receive from the triple lock increase on the state pension.

“I seriously believe the Chancellor has underestimated the harm her decision will cause to older people still struggling with energy costs, and facing higher rates in October.  It is absolutely shocking that the new Labour government should treat older, vulnerable people in this manner.  The triple lock alone will not enable them to keep up with energy bills.”

The millionaires have plenty. Why pick on the pensioners?

#worthingflash

King Trump

God Save our gracious Trump

Long Live our noble Trump

Long may he reign.

And they call themselves republicans!

Shooting Trump

Shooting Trump is the stupidest thing to do. 

It would make a martyr of him. 

It also distracts attention from the insurrection of January 6th 2021.

Nato marks 75 years of hypocrisy

What on earth is the use of NATO?

Although it opposes Putin in Ukraine, it is blind to the atrocities committed by the Israeli Defence Force in Gaza.

Why? Because Israeli is defined as a "friendly power" and "friendly powers" can engage in genocide without NATO turning a hair.

The bombing of a childrens' hospital by Russian forces is rightly condemned as a war crime. Similar bombings by Israel are met with a deafening silence from NATO.

NATO members have also been happy to sell weapons to Israel. The hypocrisy is palpable.

 

A tale of two hospitals. One in Gaza and one in Ukraine.

Centrism

"Centrism"  means appealing to the so-called "middle ground" in politics.

It is perfectly clear that "centrism" has allowed the Fascists to make gains in France. People no longer believe that any politicians will make any difference to their lives and this has led some people to believe that the far right are at least suggesting some radical solution even if it is a particularly ridiculous one.

And the Fascists have also made small gains in the UK. The pathetic 5 seats of Reform UK has been built up by the media as a triumph for their policies of "using migrants for target practice" or believing it would have been better for Britain to obey Hitler than to go to war with him.

If Labour paid more attention to the needs of the working class, they would no doubt be denounced as "extremists". It was the "extremism" of the 1945 Labour government which gave us the National Health Service. 

Pants on Fire

The Tories have produced Boris like a rabbit out of a hat. Just to remind people about Partygate just before the election. #partygate #torybastards #election #BorisJohnson

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Socialist-Reviews-Mr-Derek-McMillan/dp/153905019X

Robbers

Audio Story

There were people in the house when we arrived home. We came into the living room and they were sitting there as bold as brass on our sofa. One of them was smoking. SMOKING in the house! He was ignoring the absence of ashtrays and using the carpet instead. He seemed at home.

“Robbers!” shouted Angelina.

The couple looked at us in some surprise.

Audio Story

A Bit of a Pickle

"A bit of a pickle" audio story

 “I think I've got myself into a bit of a pickle, Lance.”

My brother, Gordon, is the only person outside the world of PG Woodhouse who could get himself into “a bit of a pickle.” He had been playing away from home and needed a couple of days to 'sort everything out' as he put it. I did not rate his chances very highly.

“The thing is, Lance, I need a bit of a favour.”

“Yes,” I said cautiously.

"A bit of a pickle" audio story

Dave's Contraption

Dave's Contraption

The Twittens of Durrington

The audio version of "The Twittens of Durrington" is available on Spotify. 

We shall see!

Reform UK "not zombies" claim

Reform UK has responded to the numerous racist, islamophobic and disgusting tweets by its candidates by saying "Our candidates are not zombies." 

You could have fooled me. #election #reformuk #racism #islamophobia 

 Farage has blamed the vetting company he employed 

Party Games

"Party Games" at the Connaught Theatre is a remarkable comedy. However,  it also has  a question, "What if the devil were advising the PM?"

The character of Seth (the Satanic adviser played by Ryan Early) is a composite figure with the eccentricity of Dominic Cummings and the abrasiveness of Alistair Campbell.

The character of the prime minister (played by  Matthew Cottle) is a parody of Boris Johnson but it develops a more nuanced role as well.

Seth persuades the leader of the fictional "One Nation" party to have a manifesto which offers precisely nothing but has a lot of verbiage.

The jokes relating to the 4th of July general election are virtually adlibbed and had a response from the audience which must have been very satisfactory to the cast.

As for the finale, you'll have to see it yourself. It is remarkable. 

Ian Gribbin Nazi

Surprise Reform UK candidate. 

A Reform UK candidate claimed the country would be "far better" if it had "taken Hitler up on his offer of neutrality" instead of fighting the Nazis in World War Two.'
'In posts from 2022 on the Unherd magazine website, seen by the BBC, he said Winston Churchill was "abysmal" and praised Russian President Vladimir Putin.'

Like a fool, Farage did not disown him but made a muddled attempt to justify him. 

Farage is a National disgrace

Farage is in the debate on the #BBC but the Nazis do not have a single MP. 

It’s a novel way to commemorate D Day to have the bastard child of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun on TV.

The Big Lie

"A lie can be half way round the world while the truth is still getting its boots on" (Mark Twain)

Every reader of the disgusting Tory press, every ignoramus in the country now knows for a fact that Labour will costs £2000 on your tax bill. This has been verified by treasury civil servants. 

The only problem is that the treasury civil servants have denied that these are their figures, the Tories have inflated the amount substantially.

The best time for this big lie would have been on the eve of poll when the opposition did not have time to reply.

Not only is Sunak a liar (after all he is a politician) he is also an incompetent liar.

Colonel Hathi and National Service

National Service. 

"Now the aim of our patrol is a question rather droll, for to march and drill over vale and hill is a military goal."

Not only that but the Tories grabbed all the front pages of the newspapers with their lunatic scheme.

Justice for Pensioners

Whoever wins the election, pensioners will need to take them warmly by the throat to get justice. 

There is a magic money tree for war, the army and national service but no money for social services, the NHS or pensioners.

National Service

National Service is a new form of assisted dying for younger citizens. 

It is not likely Rishi’s dream will come true but how many slogans of Tory backwoodsmen will he adopt before 4th July?

Want one of these? Then vote for National Service

Election

Genocide

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/international-court-seeks-arrest-warrant-against-israel-pm-netanyahu-over-alleged-gaza-war-crimes/ar-BB1mI6CO

Biden has decided there is no genocide in Gaza but there is genocide against Israel. Strange.

"The chief prosecutor at the International Criminal Court (ICC) has announced he is seeking arrest warrants for the Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, as well as several Hamas leaders over alleged war crimes."

According to Wikipedia, "Genocide is the intentional destruction of a people in whole or in part.". You were saying, Biden? Are Palestinians not people? Are they not starving? Are their children not being murdered wholesale?

The genocide Biden hasn't noticed.

Infected Blood Scandal

Is it too cynical to think the government is dragging its feet so that more of the people they would have to compensate will have died? 

Red in the face

It looks as though protestors have thrown a pot of paint over the latest toadying portrait of the king. Good for them. 

Militant Left

Some of the best times of my life were when I worked for Militant (now "The Socialist"). The Irish section of the Committee for a Workers International is "Militant Left".

Happy May Day

Happy May Day. 

'Rise like Lions after slumber In unvanquishable number,

Shake your chains to earth like dew,

Which in sleep had fallen on you ,

Ye are many—they are few.’

Shelley

Smeg

When I was about ten years old, my brother taught me how to fix a wardrobe door. The procedure involved swearing at the wardrobe. Then there was swearing at the screwdriver. Then there was swearing at anything else that came to hand. Perhaps he was swearing at life itself. He was a sailor so he was used to a working environment where swearing was hardly noticed.

As a pupil, I knew two things. One was that teachers did not swear and the other was that the staff room was out of bounds: even to open the door was taboo.

As a teacher, I was to realise these two things were linked. Teachers did not swear in the classroom. Pupils did, a lot of parents did but let a teacher say 'damn' and they would be damned.

Inside the staffroom, I learnt some of the most vehement and imaginative swearing I had ever encountered. This was led by the PE staff but they were not alone.

Other people have dealt with the issue of swearing by inventing terms of their own. “Blessed” is often used as a euphemism. Grant and Naylor came up with the word “smeg” to get round the BBC's sensitive ears. The Sci-Fi writer Larry Niven came up with “tanj” which is short for “There ain't no justice.”

So swearing is quite an issue. Knowing a lot of adjectives and adverbs is one cure. I once suggested to a pupil that he might improve the following piece of writing by varying the adjectives:

“It was a nice day so I thought it would be nice to go for a nice walk. I went to the park. It was nice.”

He came up with, “It was a bloody awful day so I thought it would be bloody awful...etc.”

Apparently, Dad said it all the time.

I believe teachers can learn to set a good example and use language in a creative way which makes the meaning clear without resorting to swearing. Then go into the staffroom and relieve their feelings in any way they deem appropriate.

Little Hitler

School uniform has been a vexed issue for many years. Most people accept that sixth formers (pupils in years 12 and 13) do not wear uniform and there is no falling away of academic achievement as a result.

However the situation at a school “somewhere in Sussex” was that the staff were being expected to wear uniform. From a trade union perspective this is quite straight-forward. The contract of employment did not specify uniform and that contract cannot be arbitrarily altered.

The staff response was very effective. They took to saluting the little Hitler who suggested the change and the individual was embarrassed into dropping the idea.

Lock up politicians for lying?

#thei newspaper reports massive public support for a law banning politicians from telling lies but have they considered how overcrowded the prisons are already? #tory #labour #lies

Freedom Come-All-Ye

Freedom Come-All-Ye

Traditional Trade Union and protest song from the 1960s

Roch the wind in the clear day's dawin
Blaws the cloods heilster-gowdie owre the bay
But there's mair nor a roch wind blawin
Thro the Great Glen o the warld the day
It's a thocht that wad gar oor rottans
Aa thae rogues that gang gallus fresh an gay
Tak the road an seek ither loanins
Wi thair ill-ploys tae sport an play

Nae mair will our bonnie callants
Merch tae war when oor braggarts crousely craw
Nor wee weans frae pitheid an clachan
Mourn the ships sailin doun the Broomielaw
Broken faimlies in lands we've hairriet
Will curse 'Scotlan the Brave' nae mair, nae mair
Black an white ane-til-ither mairriet
Mak the vile barracks o thair maisters bare

Sae come aa ye at hame wi freedom
Never heed whit the houdies croak for Doom
In yer hoos aa the bairns o Adam
Will find breid, barley-bree an paintit rooms
When Maclean meets wi's friens in Springburn
Aa thae roses an geans will turn tae blume
An the black lad frae yont Nyanga
Dings the fell gallows o the burghers doun.

English translation

It's a rough wind in the clear day's dawning
Blows the clouds head-over-heels across the bay
But there's more than a rough wind blowing
Through the Great Glen of the world today
It's a thought that would make our rodents,
All those rogues who strut and swagger,
Take the road and seek other pastures
To carry out their wicked schemes

No more will our fine young men
March to war at the behest of jingoists and imperialists
Nor will young children from mining communities and rural hamlets
Mourn the ships sailing off down the River Clyde
Broken families in lands we've helped to oppress
Will never again have reason to curse the sound of advancing Scots
Black and white, united in friendship and marriage,
Will make the slums of the employers bare

So come all ye who love freedom
Pay no attention to the prophets of doom
In your house all the children of Adam
Will be welcomed with food, drink and clean bright accommodation
When MacLean returns to his people
All the roses and cherry trees will blossom
And the black guy from Nyanga
Will break the capitalist stranglehold on everyone's life

11298 downloads of my worksheets from the TES

They refer to me as "h" because I gave my name as H Elpline2.

That is a lot of downloads.

Rebus2

 Sid Vish without the gnu and us = SidVicious

Last Tango in Paris

The ten ant of Wilde fell Hall = The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

Rwanda is not the Congo you know

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/question-time-audience-stunned-as-minister-chris-philp-asks-rwanda-is-a-different-country-to-congo-isn-t-it/ar-AA1nG8Ck

Policing minister Chris Philp appeared to confuse the countries of Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo on Question Time.

An easy mistake to make. They are both foreign countries forsooth.

One word description of OFSTED

The government has kept its policy of "one word assessments" of schools by OFSTED. The somewhat insulting premise is that parents cannot understand more than one word.

As for OFSTED, I think it is a toss-up between ‘ignorant’ and ‘bullying’. 

And the government? ‘Inadequate’ would do. 

222 players on Puzzgrid

I presented this grid to my family on Thursday and then put it on Puzzgrid. As you can see 222 people have played it. Cor Blimey

Not Nice

"It was a nice day so I thought it would be nice to go for a nice walk. I went to the park where a lot of nice people were walking their dogs. It was nice."

You can believe me or not, just as you choose. This is from a piece of writing a pupil handed in to me. I have used it since as an exercise in finding alternatives to the word "nice",

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Classroom-Teacher-Manual-advice-teachers/dp/1973773074

Gratitude

One way to master the complexities of logarithms is to sit in the back row of the class and make farting noises.

This was the strategy of a child who I found was called Jack Carter.

"Are you sending Carter to the sin bin,  sir?" 

From the air of anticipation in the class I guessed that Carter usually made a fuss about this.

Instead of sending him out, I focussed on explaining the lesson to him. The others were listening.

When the bell went, he said, "I quite like the sin bin actually."

I was overwhelmed by his gratitude.

58 Farm End

This is a first-class murder story. The characters are well-drawn and interesting and their relationships drive the plot.

As for the murder there are a number of red herrings and I was certainly surprised when the actual murderer was revealed. It keeps the reader guessing and speculating all the way through as suspicion switches from one character to another..

The details of life on a farm provide a backdrop to the story and it is set in the vicinity of Worthing which is an added attraction for those of us who live there.

I bought the paperback in Natty Noos in Horsham. There are also Kindle and Audible versions.

Intolerable

Sunak said the action of the Israeli Defence Force was "intolerable".
Was it intolerable enough to prevent the sale of arms to Israel?
Of course not!

As of 20 March, at least 196 humanitarians have been killed in the Occupied Palestinian Territories since October 2023, according to figures compiled by the Aid Worker Security Database (AWDS) – the aid community’s main source for tracking attacks on aid workers. Data for 2023 and 2024 is not yet finalised, and the numbers are likely to rise, researchers say.

It is apparently impossible for Israel to feed Palestinian children who are starving but it is possible to bomb them.

The Israeli Defence Force is engaged in crimes against humanity. So are the Israeli media. For them the genocide in Gaza simply does not exist.

The Legend of Loof Lirpa

In 1793 the health ministry of Norway was tasked with measuring the feet of all the citizens. The runaway winner of the contest was a little-known man called Loof Lirpa.

His picture, alongside a picture of his feet with a normal-sized pair of feet for comparison, appeared in the newspapers of the day, there were two. The King awarded Loof a thousand Kroner which could be expected to keep him in comfort for the rest of his days.

In those days there were no shoe sizes so Loof had to have his shoes specially made. Fortunately his father came from a long line of cobblers.

Loof decided to set out exploring. The first country he discovered was Denmark. Norwegians had heard of Denmark but hitherto they had thought of it as a mythic land inhabited by giants. Danes are similar in size to Norwegians and in fact Loof, with his prodigious feet, was regarded as a giant by them. He was introduced to the King who told him of another land which the Danes greatly feared. In modern times it is known as Sweden.

Loof walked to Sweden where he found that the land of Abba was in fact a rather peaceful place. In fact he married and raised twelve children in Sweden. There was a mistranslation of his writings about Sweden which were published posthumously forty years later. From this people in Norway got the impression that far from being a pacific nation, Sweden was in fact in the Pacific.

He was mourned in Sweden, Denmark and eventually in his native Norway.

Note – as this is written in English, I have followed the tradition of spelling Loof Lirpa's name backwards.