
Wednesday, July 02, 2025
The Ouija Board

Wednesday, June 18, 2025
All Your Stories Anthology June 2025
And at the same time, it shows the way that adults talk to children and do not necessarily tell the exact truth about the past.
The other stories are well worth a look, especially mine obvs!
Saturday, June 07, 2025
An Invitation
An invitation
#worthingflash is an online blog run by Durrington writer Derek McMillan with the assistance of 100 other writers. You could become one!
The original aim was to encourage flash fiction in Worthing. Writers from all over the world have now taken part.
There is a competition for 100-word stories which are published in September on http://worthingflash.blogspot.com and the prize will be Derek's new book "The Pernicious Snood" which is also due for publication in September.
The maximum length in other months is 1000 words and many stories are a lot shorter. If you want to get an idea of the kind of stories accepted have a look at the blog. You can Google worthingflash or say "Alexa, find worthing flash" if you prefer.
Over 100,000 people have visited the blog so your writing will have a large audience.
All stories should be sent to worthingflash@gmail.com
All writers are volunteers. It costs nothing to submit but the reward is kudos not cash.
Sunday, June 01, 2025
Lady Susan
This is a very amusing and very short story. The epistolatory novel is not in fashion. In fact, towards the end, it ceases to be a collection of letters with the author summarising the situation.
The book was not published in Jane Austen's lifetime. It lacks to subtlety of her later works. It could almost be rough notes for a Jane Austen novel.
Lady Susan is a distinctly awful person. I can think of very few Jane Austen characters who are so venal.
However, I did enjoy reading it.
Wednesday, May 28, 2025
Monday, May 19, 2025
Grammarly sucks
Publishers are averse to the use of Artificial Intelligence.
The piece of Artificial Stupidity which I find most annoying is Grammarly. It started out as a way of correcting grammar. It then decided it would write my stories better than I could. Anything I could do, Grammarly could do better.
Take any piece of poetry or prose and subject it to the Grammarly treatment and you will see what I mean. All of the major speeches in Shakespeare are all wrong and Grammarly could improve on them. It could do the same to Jane Austen and Charles Dickens.
Or you could just delete the pompous smug app and have done with it.
Introduction to "The Pernicious Snood"
We police an area known as Scoresdale. It includes the villages of Scoresdale, Scoresdale West, Sodbury and Lower Sodbury. The surrounding area is mainly populated by sheep who do not cause us much trouble.
Scoresdale has been refused permission to call itself "Scoresdale by Sea." Presumably the English Channel is invisible to the County Council.
Colin Burgos is a constable who has been plagued by teasing about his illiteracy. He now reads everything that comes his way and provides us all with an exegesis whether we ask for it or not.
Clare Turner is another constable who is based in Nether Sodbury. Whereas Colin is not keen for promotion I can see Claire passing the Sergeant's exam and taking my job one day.
The other member of the team is Community Support Officer Francis Skinner who has a dislike of being called Frank. He is older than all of us and has a lot of experience in the RAF regiment which is like the military police.
I was unable to join the RAF because I failed the medical due to colour-blindness. I am also incapable of reading a map which would not have helped.
The politicians in their infinite wisdom have cut the regional crime squad over and over again until it was reduced to three men and a dog. Then the dog died. The three men don't look too well either. The practical result of this is that however serious the crime is, it is up to us to deal with it.
The Perncious Snood is about how we go about it.
Sergeant Chris Morgan
(Fictional character)
Thursday, May 01, 2025
Agatha Crusty and the Health Spa Murders
Friday, April 18, 2025
Parody of 1984
His lover, Julia, was in the women’s wing of the Ministry of Love.
A guard interrupted his reverie.
‘Smith. Room 101.’
Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.
‘Either surrender or you will be sentenced to lunch with Richard Branson forever.’
‘Do it to Julia,’ said Winston wearily.
Thursday, April 17, 2025
Corporate Severance
"Forget about everything else and concentrate on your job." This has been the mantra of bullying bosses right back to Egyptian slavedrivers.
Thursday, April 03, 2025
Smiert spionam
Friday, March 28, 2025
Pack of Lies
Findon Amateur Dramatic Society have produced a play about events in 1961 which is eerily topical since it deals with Russian spies.
The story concerns the Russian spy Gordon Lonsdale. Londsdale always insisted that his collaborators who went by the names Helen and Peter Kroger were innocent dupes. This does not explain why they had a short-wave radio and code books. Helen Kroger, real name Lona Cohen was a major in the KGB.
The story focuses on the Jackson family who were friends and neighbours of the Krogers for five years and never suspected their secret life. Barbara Jackson (played brilliantly by Sue Borroughs) is a close friend of Helen (played equally brilliantly by Lena Grinsted) and is forced to lie to her.
The MI5 officer (played by Simon Weston) gives Barbara too much information. It is probable that MI5 would have had a cover story to encourage the surveillance of the neighbours but in the play, the truth is revealed bit by bit.
Overall this is an excellent play and the Findon Dramatic Society do not look like Amateurs at all.
Thursday, March 13, 2025
Mobile Phones in Schools
I worked for years at a school which banned mobile phones. Schools do not have to wait for the pusillanimous politicians to catch up. They can ban mobile phones and put the politicians to shame.
Personally, I think they should.
It would reduce the hours students spend on social media. It would put a
stop to bullying by text (at least during school hours). It would
enable pupils to concentrate and - God forbid - actually talk to each
other!
Monday, March 10, 2025
Today on eBay
433 items sold means slightly more than 433 books because memory sticks can hold more than one book
Click here
Monday, March 03, 2025
Death Agony of Capitalism
"The Death Agony of Capitalism and the Tasks of the Fourth International is also known as "The Transitional Program". The purpose of an audio version is to make it accessible to a wider audience. It has been tested with Windows and Linux.
In exile from Stalin's Russia, Trotsky sought to create a worldwide socialist organisation. This founding statement explains why and explains the concept of a transitional program to take the movement forward.
Trotsky's supporters were hounded and murdered by Stalin's agents. Yet thousands of communists left Stalinist parties to rally behind Trotsky and his ideas.
Various organisations claim to continue the tradition on the Fourth International.
A good test would be to compare their program with the transitional program. Do they slavishly copy each detail whether appropriate or not; have they abandoned it altogether; or do they follow the method and the spirit of the Transitional Program adapted properly to the current century? The Committee for a Workers International I can be contacted at the website https://www.socialistworld.net/
Friday, February 28, 2025
Solid Gold Toilet
They are as useful as a solid gold toilet.
Monday, February 24, 2025
Les Miserables
Friday, February 21, 2025
The Importance of Being Earnest
The National Theatre's latest production of "The Importance of Being Earnest" was shown in the Connaught Theatre.
It is very appropriate for Worthing because the main character is called "Worthing" for reasons which become apparent and indeed the play was written by Oscar Wilde in Worthing.
It is remarkable that Wilde was able to persuade Victorians to flock to a play which ridicules the predominant values in Victorian society and in particular the class system. This is still relevant today when the privileged one percent consider themselves superior to the 99 percent.
The way Wilde did this was with wicked humour and this production makes the most of it.
Sharon D Clarke's Lady Bracknell was a brilliant example of snobbery - a snobbery which was ameliorated by the chance for her nephew "to marry 130,000 pounds."
Ncuti Gatwa was possibly the most camp Algernon Moncrieff in history but the character was true to the intentions of the play to produce "A Trivial Comedy for Serious People".
Hugh Skinner's Jack Worthing was equally outrageous.
In fact, the whole cast kept the audience in stitches.
This is well worth a visit and a lot cheaper than visiting a theatre in London.
Thursday, February 20, 2025
Comedians
Sunday, February 09, 2025
"Idioter and idioter" said Alice
Thursday, February 06, 2025
Safe nuclear power
The new Labour plan for green nuclear power which overrides any local objections to a Windscale on your doorstep is very interesting. I wonder how many nuclear power stations will actually be built in Keir Starmer's constituency.
Nuclear power stations produce the elements necessary for nuclear weapons. Thank heavens Chernobyl proved how safe they are.
Wednesday, February 05, 2025
Trump's plan to Seize the Gaza strip
"Tobogganing with eyes closed towards catastrophe," is the phrase Trotsky used and it seems apt.
Monday, February 03, 2025
Quis Custodet
I would suggest that teachers would be best placed.
As a former teacher, I could contribute a few comments about the clowns who inspected my lessons!
Only one OFSTED inspector gained any respect. She had the chutzpah to teach a lesson with members of staff observing her work. None of the others had the courage.
Thursday, January 23, 2025
Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer claimed he was a victim of "nominal determinism". Lehrer means "teacher" and for many years he was a teacher of 'applications of mathematics to the social sciences" and other topics.
However, he had another talent, in the 1960s and 1970s he produced a number of quirky or satirical songs. Initially, he self-published but gradually won a mass audience.
His songs are a crash course in irony. This was underscored by his use of "Gilbertian" rhymes. In other words, he tortured words in order to make them fit the song whether they liked it or not.
Tom Lehrer was a white liberal rather than a Socialist but Socialists will enjoy many of his songs.
An example is his hymn to "universal bereavement".
"When you attend a funeral
It is sad to think that sooner or l-
ater those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic
Not to mention other adjec-
tives to think of all the weeping they will do
But don't you worry,
No more ashes
No more sackcloth
And an armband made of black cloth
will someday never more adorn a sleeve
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbours too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve
And we will all go together when we go
All suffused with an incandescent glow
Universal bereavement
An inspiring achievement
Yes, we all will go together when we go.
He followed this up with "So long mom, I'm off to drop the bomb" and a song about Werner Von Braun, the Nazi employed by American imperialism to develop nuclear missiles.
Another song is about America's number one instrument of diplomacy
When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve
Who is it who always intervenes?
UN and OAS
They have their place I guess
But first
Send the Marines
For might makes right
Until they've seen the light
They've got to be protected
All their rights respected
Till somebody we like can be elected!
His song about vivisection, based on a true story, "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" was released as a popular single in the UK and the flip side was a parody of the passionate or fiery variety of love song "The Masochism Tango".
He never claimed that his songs would change minds about the bomb or cruelty to animals but they bolstered the beliefs of those who were already opposed.
And they were great fun, albeit the humour was rather dark as I have attempted to show.
Australia Quiz Answers
Australia Quiz Answers
1
Mr James was a famous comedian. What was his first name?
a
Canberra b Sydney
c
Melbourne
2 What is the capital of Australia?
a Canberra b Sydney c Melbourne
3
What is the capital of Victoria?
a Canberra b Sydney c Melbourne
4
Tasmania is a country?
True or False
5
New Zealand is a country?
True
or
False
6
How many islands are there in New Zealand?
a 2 b 60 c 600
7
How many kangaroos are there in Australia?
a a million b 100
million c 50
million
8
Which city hosted the Summer Olympics in 1956?
a Melbourne
b Brisbane c Perth
9
Australia means?
a Southern
Land b
God's Own Country c Prison
10
Which animal carries its young in a pouch?
a
kangaroo b
bush baby c sheep
11
Which uniquely Australian animal lays eggs?
a Platypus
b
bush baby c sheep
12
The capital of the Northern Territory is?
a Darwin
b
Spencer c Alice Springs
13
What is a dingo?
a a
wild dog b
a pudding c a state
14 Who was Waltzing in the
song?
a James b Charlie c Matilda
15 Where did the swagman drown
in the same song?
a Tasman Sea b Pacific Ocean c a billabong
16 What is another name for
Australia?
a Over There b Down Under c Southern
Paradise
17 Which animal is not a native
of Australia?
a platypus b lion c Koala
18 In which Australian city
would you find the Opera House?
a Canberra b Sydney c
Melbourne
19 If it's Christmas in
Australia, what season is it?
a Summer b Autumn c
Winter
20 What does a koala like to
eat?
a eucalyptus leaves b other koalas c insects
Wednesday, January 22, 2025
Australia Quiz
(Answers tomorrow)